stickers... rolls vs. sheets

We walked around mount hood. I would recommend it. There is one place I would recommend in particular. The climb up and out of the Sandy River. It is the equivalent of standing on top of a hundred story building with no guardrail. A sloping roof. And footprint significantly smaller than its top floor. The cliff is unlike this hypothetical building, which I like to see as quite solid, in that the whole top... which looks similar to this,



feels about as secure as my bicycle lock. Gravity and Erosion walk by every day with their bolt cutters. But, luckily Chance has parked his Schwinn road-bike down the line, which Gravity eyeballs. And Erosion, being a prick, just kicks in the wheel and steals the bicycle seat.

I mean, come on Erosion. What’s a bicycle seat worth?

photo by Jake Ferrer's cellphone.

Importance of Archivality.

Oh, United States of A how good it is to be back in you. No more ridiculous electrical outlets. No more commas for decimal points. Just this morning I was able to crawl out from my blanket, slide the glass door open, slip out into a pleasantly cool morning, and pee into my parents lawn. These are all things you (Italy), won’t allow me to do. Your lawn (Italy) wouldn’t have been full of deer for instance. Maybe some of those weird antelope-esque creatures you seem to be able content your self with.

Now don’t get mad. You should remember (Italy), that your showers made my hair feel like a large Ducati riding Italian man had given me a swirly. No longer. Now my swirlied hair will be only result from not showering. And (Italy), that swirly will be administered by a varsity jacket wearing football player who climbs out of a Ford Bronco. A raised Ford Bronco. Chopped into a convertible.

Most importantly (Italy), it was your airline who lost my bright red duffel bag. Twice. I hope you’re happy. Because, you know what (Italy)... I am. I really am.